Do you remember the movie There's Something About Mary? There is a scene in the movie that reminds me of what's going on in the energy shot market. Ted, played by Ben Stiller, has just picked up a hitchhiker played by Harland Williams. The scene goes like this:
♦ HITCHHIKER: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
♦ TED: Yeah, sure. The 8-Minute Abs – the exercise video.
♦ HITCHHIKER: Yeah, well this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this – 7-Minute Abs.
♦ TED: Yes. Right. OK, I see where you're going.
♦ HITCHHIKER: Think about it. You walk into a video store. You see 8-Minute Abs sitting there, and 7-Minute Abs sitting right beside it, which one are you going to pick, man?
♦ TED: I'd… I'd go for the seven.
♦ HITCHHIKER: Bingo, man. Bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the eight minute folk.
♦ TED: Guarantee it? So how do you do that?
♦ HITCHHIKER: If you're not happy with the first seven minutes, we're going to send you the extra minute free. See, that's it. That's our motto. That's where we're coming from. That's from A to B.
♦ TED: That's… that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, if somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
♦ HITCHHIKER: No. No. Not six. I said seven. Nobody's coming up with six. Who works out in six minutes? You won't even get your heart going. Not even a mouse on a wheel.
♦ TED: Good point.
♦ HITCHHIKER: Seven's the key number here. Think about it.
Funny, right? But the same thing has been happening in the energy shot market for years. Since we introduced 5-Hour Energy in September of 2004, unimaginative competitors have tried to fool consumers by claiming to provide six, seven or even eight hours of energy. Some of them have tried to copy our formula. Some of them even directly copy our directions and warnings word for word.
Yeah, well this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this – 9 Hour Energy! No, wait – 10 Hour Energy! Damn, this could go on forever.
It can be confusing out there, but please be mindful that 5-Hour Energy is only 5-Hour Energy. We have not, nor will we ever, release anything other than a 5-Hour Energy brand energy shot. We do not have a 6-hour, 7-hour or 8-hour version.
Competitors continue to enter the market. 5-Hour Energy continues to widen the gap. To this we say, thank you. Your loyalty to 5-Hour Energy is impressive, and we appreciate it.
I got it! 13 Hour Energy! Bingo, man. Bingo!
Labels: 5-Hour Energy